How will you define a Line? Eucraptus defines a line, which has only length and no width. But in reality, even lines will have some scale of width. With out width dimension there cannot be any line. Like this, defining self is not possible, but retreat like exercises can make us to feel the self, to the comparatively better framework. As we all know, time is highly perishable commodity. Each second puts some sort of experience in our mind. By re – looking it, at least we can find how our time commodity perished or flourished. Just like common human being, it is always pleasure to dreaming with the past things & sharing it with others. It is a kind of relief (or/and) pleasure. I feel while sharing, my difficulties / constrains reduces half of its original as well as my pleasures / happiest moments doubles with that of its original. After all, men’s life gets it meaning when it is comparative. Obviously I take immense pleasure to present about my self, to you.
I’m Janakiraman, working in Panchayat program at Batlagundu as
Project Executive. I’m native of Tiruttani, Tiruvallur district in Tamilnadu.
I’m blessed with very cooperative parents, nothing to say about them – what is
there to tell about life breath? My father is working as secretary, in Primary
Agricultural cooperative bank in Tiruttani. He is my friend, philosopher &
guide. My mother is homemaker; she is so possessive and sensible. Her affection
always refines my mind and heart. I have one younger brother, more than a
brother we both are friends. He is a law graduate & now is practicing law
in high court, Chennai. Even for my idiotic activities, my family use to
celebrate me. Never had they forced anything on me. Such trust & freedom
provided by them, made to be more responsible.
I had my B. Pharma course in Chennai. While finishing the
course I found that Pharmacy sector is not my cup of tea. Because I cannot
found the relevance of my course with current job market, this may be due to my
mind setup, because, I convinced in the child hood itself that, to contribute
directly to the community. As there is no space is available (or I may not
identified it) I decided to work in public sector. Obviously I choused to write
for civil services I prepared for it for one year. That is the time, I came to
know about the third sector, Voluntary organizations and its contribution to
the society. In the mean while, I finished my PG in Public administration, from
Annamalai University by correspondence. Even though I tried for civil services,
I not convinced with the exam pattern. A good Canon Xerox machine can get
through the exam well (in prelims process). There is less importance on value
identification which is I feel very crucial for public works, because knowledge
can be built easily but attitude & values needs self conviction &
commitment. That is the time I got bored with my doings, I thought of
establishing Community Pharmacy but I’m not very comfortable with that. That
period is very tough time (2001 – 2002) I ever felt, I’m not clear about my
self and how to choose self-satisfied career. In those periods my family
support was crucial & their trust on me made me to have confidence on my
self. That time I saw the advertisement from DHAN Academy for PDM III course,
the ad. is capturing and Immediately I can able to feel that academy could be
my place, what I’m searching. I went with the process and I got admitted in
that course.
The 15-month course is a sort of rebirth to my mind, attitude
& behavior. T – D A (Tata – Dhan Academy) culture, courses offered by it,
the peer group interactions are very great. Nearly 450 days, which I spent in
PDM course was filled with full of excitement in each and every moment in terms
of learning, sharing experience, skill building, yoga, sports, cultural events,
feast, picnics etc, I feel the prime characteristic of an educational institute
is that, it has to build skill rather knowledge in a non – threatening
environment. T – DA is such institute. Its un - conventional pedagogy, learners
focused curriculum, its growing - living divine, culture impressed me a lot.
Being pharmacy graduate, while joining in this course I had little bit of
confusion that can I able to coup-up with the curriculum as it deals with
management, Social research, economics, sociology and other inter disciplinary
subjects. But in course of time, I started to enjoy the subjects. I can able to
dissolve my self with the curriculum. Beyond that, its perfect blend of field
and classroom segments made the whole study period more vibrant. Apart from
professional aspects, this course questioned my way of life and my belief
system. It catalyzed a vigorous change reaction in my mind setup. Committed
faculty, Co – operative staff, Multi – disciplinary & friendly peer group,
Student-oriented environment forced a synergistic kick in my learning process.
Its prime focuses on core values, self-development, equipping skills,
motivation and social concern are made me to look the community in a new way.
Ultimately words cannot articulate the real experience. Experience need to be
experienced. I’m not satisfied with my performance in academy. Their learning
is the only work assigned to me. But now I feel I didn’t utilize it with its
full extent.
I’m addicted with two things: Books & Music. These two things
are Sivakasi products to my money wallet. In my early school days I use to
read, comics book. Then I slowly shifted to read crime novels in Tamil. While
I’m studying 10th std, I read Kalki’s “Ponniyen selvan”
Novel. I was lived with that novel, it fired my reading habit. Then I exposed
with several literary areas. In Tamil literature, beyond Sangam & Bakthi
literatures, I’m impressed with Jayaganthan, Barathi, Pichamoorthy, Kalki,
Pudumaipitthan, Sujatha, Balakumaran, Abdul rahman & Iraianbu writings.
Gandhi & Viveganantha are my attitude setters. I’m not much familiar with
world literature, but I like the Russian trio’s (Leo Tolstoy, Maxim gorgy &
Alexander buskin), French Mappasan, Iranian Galil Gibran. In philosophical
aspects, I’m very much attracted with JK and Osho. Their logical thinking,
lateral approach for detailing any uncommon aspects / controversial things
built appreciating the importance of logical skill in myself.
This led, my
attraction towards Tao – Zen way of living. I’m very comfortable with those
principles. I’m keeping on trying to be a Zen. (But it says, to become a Zen,
one should not be a Zen!) Being Zen is a continuum and not it’s not a state. Henry
Boral’s book “Whoo Whi” (means, Shut Up!) was made revolutionary
change in my inner self. After this, the basic question raised in my mind is,
why man need to accumulate knowledge? What is the use of it? What else you can
get from written books beyond the nature? Then l can feel, empty white paper can
teach a lot than any classic books. Now I’m not prioritizing book reading but,
it got habited so, I cannot able to come out of that. Let it self change, I
don’t want to put any effort. Be as it, to beat it!
My strength is that, I know my weaknesses and my weakness is, I wouldn't disclose my weaknesses openly. I always want to be a learner; not from
secondary sources (books & other media) but directly from the nature,
appreciating nature it self is great wisdom. Regarding my work most of the time
I perform some task master roll (but I don’t like such attitude) mostly I’m
driven by achievement motivation, with such attitude even though my learning is
inhibited, but I feel comfortable.
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